I was asked to kill Sam Winchester
by HobbitPowerAndAragorn
Summary: She's a daugher of a devil king. She's a killer, who never failed a mission. But what if her emotionless heart starts to feel again? What happenes when she holds the knife over the victim and can not do it?
1. Chapter 1

She entered the Hall and kneeled on one knee. The Hall was the main room in the new Hell. In the middle of it stood a throne and on the throne was a man.

"You were calling me"

She was wearing a long black coat with hood on her head, you couldn't see her face, just long black hair covering it.

"Yes" said the man "I have a mission for you, an important mission"

She stood up and looked at the man "Everything you ask"

The man smiled looking directly in her eyes "You can not fail"

"Did I ever?" she cut him off

"No, you haven't" The man said and then stood up "That is why I'm asking you to do it" there was a moment of silence and then he said "You have to kill Sam Winchester"

The girl froze and looked at the man with something that seemed like fear, and that was a rare feeling for her.

"No!" She said and with one hand took of her hood "You can't do this to me!"

Her face was pale and across her left eye run a scar. But there was something more unusual on her. Her eyes. One was pure blue and the other was black. If you looked closely you could see that the black iris was larger then the blue.

"You are the best of my Slayers Clea and you will do as I ask!"

The man shouted.

"Everyone you send to kill a Winchester died! And now you're sending me to face them! Do you even realize how many men you lost trying to kill the Winchesters! Just forget about it already!"

"You are the best of all and you will not fail me!" The man was now furious.

The girl didn't say anything she was just looking at him with disbelieve.

"Or do you fear the Winchesters Clea? Do you fear death?"

She looked right up in his eyes with anger "Never" she said

"Sam Winchester is dead. I will not fail you, father" and then she left the room. The man smiled and set back on the throne.


	2. Chapter 2

The motel window was bright and she could see what was happening inside. She was hidden in the bush waiting for brothers to go asleep.

Open the door. Quetly stab Sam. If Dean wakes up shoot him but make sure he survives. Then leave without a trace.

Door, knife, shoot, gone.

It seemed easy, but she knew better. Father sent the best demons to catch them but they all failed.

She looked at the dagger in her hand. It was sharpened.

She checked the spare knife in her boot and a gun behind her belt. You can never be to careful. She covered her head with the hood.

She thought she was ready.

Doors opened and she put her lock pick back in her pocket. With quiet steps she walked in. Room was as any motel room, two beds, one bathroom on the left and table with chair. She approached the beds, one was full but the other one...she heard toilet flush and someone opened the bathroom door.

Doors are to far, bathroom is occupied, no closet to hide into...

Sam stepped out of the bathroom and saw her, he grabbed his gun on the table.

"Drop your knife!"

She raised her hands in surrender and dropped the knife.

One quick step to Sam, kick gun from his hands, punch in the face, kick between legs, then get out.

"Wow young lady what do you think you're doing here? " She heard from behind her.

Shit, Dean was awake.

She knew she can't fight both Winchesters. What now?

Lie.

"You might be in danger" She said to Sam

"What?" they said together

Lie with the truth

"I heard the King wants Sam Winchester dead" She said

"The king? Who are you?" Sam still didn't lowered his gun.

"I'd be glad to tell you if you can stop pointing that to my face"

Sam looked at Dean and he nodded.

"You can remove your hood from your face now" Dean said.

She turned to Dean and slowly did what he asked.

"Wow" he said and backed off a little bit.

She rolled her eyes "I am human, okay" She looked back at Sam "You're his target"

Sam stared at her, or more like in her black eye.

"Sammy" Dean said "You're staring"

"Am yes, sorry" he said and looked away

"Don't worry I'm used to it."

"Who are you again?" Dean asked

"I'm Lily, and I'm here to warn you" oh how she liked fake names.

After a half an hour they were all sitting in the 24/7 bar. They agreed it would be easier to talk here.

"So why exactly is Sam in danger?" Dean asked looking at her across the table.

She looked at Sam and then back at Dean

"The king..." she started

"What king? Crowley?" Sam interrupted her

"You don't know?" She asked surprised.

So the famous Winchester didn't know who was running hell for the past few months. Interesting.

She sighed "Crowley is long gone, the Hell was reforged..."

"So who exactly is the new king?" Dean asked

"Lucifer"

"What! This is impossible, he's in the cage" Dean panicked, he was probably worried for his brother.

"How?" Was all that Sam asked

"He found a way" Clea shrugged her shoulders "Maybe you noticed more demons around you lately? Well Lucifer send them to kill Sam"

"Why only me?" Sam asked

"Well" Clea smiled "Kill two Winchesters, they'll be happily driving around in heaven, but kill one Winchester, they'll be separated. Its no secret the best hunters in the world can't live without each other"

"So you came here to warn us about more Lucifer's demons that will try to kill Sam? " Dean seemed tired of all things trying to kill Sam. Clea heard a lot of stories about Winchesters.

She shook her head "No more demons for you two I'm afraid. Lucifer send a Slayer to kill you"

"What the fuck is a Slayer"

"Slayers are the best warriors of Lucifer, some are demos, some werewolfs or even vampires, but the best of all them is his daughter"

"Wait Lucifer has a daughter?" This was too much for Dean to take in.

"Well she's adopted" Clea said

"But then she's not actually his daughter..." Dean tried to understand.

"Well...no, I mean she is but also not...look,there was a hole in the cage trough which Lucifer...let say occupied the mind of a young girl. He talked to her and persuade her to release him. You may not know but there are many ways to enter hell, more than you can imagine. So through the secret path she found her way in Hell released him and then he took over. After that he changed her and made her his blood. She became the best worrior of the Devil himself. All other details are unfortunatley unknown to me"

"Great" Dean said and leaned back.

"That's not all" she said "The daughter of Lucifer posseses a Soul knife. If you get stabbed by that and die, there is no rescuing you. You die for good"

"You know a lot for a normal hunter" Sam said

"I got lucky" she shrugged her shoulders

"Meaning..?"

"I captured a demon who was very cought up on all the informations from hell. You wouldn't believe how many stuff you can get from this pathetic bastards with a little torture" Clea explained. She was pleased with herself, coming up with lies so quickly.

"And what made you help us?" Dean asked

"We humas stick together against demons right?" Clea said

Dean laughed "You're right"

After a few drinks Clea decided to leave.

"It was nice meeting you two guys" she said and stood up.

"You too"

"And don't forget what I warned you about"

Then she smiled, put on her hood and left.


	3. Chapter 3

"Is it done?"

"No father" She said looking down at her feet "I need help"

Lucifer sighed "What do you need?"

She smiled "A friend"

*

Three months had passed since she met the Winchesters. Finally she arrived at the barn she was looking for. The black car was already in front of it. She smiled.

Just as planned

"What are we doing here Sam?" she heard Dean's voice from the inside.

"I'm telling you this is the vampire nest" Sam said

"There is nothing here Sam and its all dusty"

Clea listened from the outside

"Well you're wrong about that" Said the third voice. It was a woman. Clea smiled.

"Who are you?" Asked the older Winchester

"I should be offended. You haven't heard of me?" The woman said

The Winchesters exchanged weird looks "Should we?"

The woman was quite tall and slim. She had blond short hear and wicked smile from which you couldn't tell what she was planning.

"Well if I were you I would know who my archenemy is. Clea, the daughter of Lucifer" She bowed

"You are the Slayer" Dean said and now he was in full position to fight.

"That's right handsome, now show me some of your skills. You don't want me to kill your brother without a fight, do you?"

"Enough!" Dean shouted and launched himself at her.

'Clea' was good enough to fight both of them but not for long.

The real Clea was listening from the outside and after a while she decided her replacement needs help. She busted in and with few steps she was behind the blond woman. She got into a fight and now she was the one fighting 'Clea'. It took a while, just for a good preformance but in the end she stabbed her and 'Clea' fell on the ground.

"I thought you guys could use a hand with this one" She smiled as she wiped blooded knife in her shirt.

"We had it under control" Dean said

"Yeah sure you did. You were losing, but don't worry about it, she was the best of all Slayers, you would lose anyway"

"Well thats encouraging" Sam said "What are you doing here?"

"She murdured a nice family a few towns back just fror fun. Been following her for a few days now trying to get justice, you know. I lost track of her yesterday but luckly for you I found her soon enough" Clea said and smiled at Sam.

"What are we gonna do with her?" Dean asked and broke eye contact between Sam and Clea.

"I'll take care of her, you guys can go" Clea said looking at the blooded body

"You sure you don't need help?" Sam asked "Thats a pretty heavy corpse you got there"

"Thanks guys but I got it. You just be glad that threat is of off you"

Sam just shrugged his shoulders "Okay then, I hope to see you again"

"Sure, you too"

Sam turned and almost left when he stopped "And thanks...you know for saving my life"

"No problem" She said and smiled. Sam smiled back and then left.

No problem at all Winchester

That pretty smile turned into a wicked one.

"Are they gone?" The corpse asked "Yea they are gone Jenny" Clea answered and helped her get up

"You know the only thing I won't forgive you is this jacked, it was my favorite" Jenny complained looking at her yellow bloody ripped jacket.

"I'll buy you a new one"

They headed out to Clea's car "I really appreciate your help by the way"

"Oh no problem, you know I would do anything for you"

Clea smiled "You are my favorite demon. Now go get another vessel, you look horrible" They laughed

"Well, see you soon Lucifers daughter, I hope you succeed on your mission" Was the last thing Jenny said and then she was gone. Clea set down in her car with pleased smile on her face.

The young Winchester is going down soon enough.

*

"Father" she said entering his chambers. The new Hell was completely different now, it looked like a big palace, but darker and scarier. All walls were from cold dark stone and the torches were emitting red light. The Devils chamber was the biggest room in new Hell beside the Hall.

"Clea, I hope you bring me some good news"

"I am father"

He walked to her and looked her in the eyes "Do tell me" he smiled

"Thanks to Jenny they think I'm dead and now they trust me"

"Good"

"My plan is to get close to them, they won't be so careful then and Sam will be easier to kill..."

"But..."

"But I don't know how to get to them, I mean I can't just appear somewhere and say it was a coincidence, it's just too obvious"

"You're a smart girl, use your brains. Make them come to you"

Clea thought about it for a second and grinned "That could work"


	4. Chapter 4

She woke up tied on the chair in her living room with a horrible headache.

Somebody hit her in the head. Hard.

A few months passed after seeing the Winchesters in that barn. She had a plan now, but it needed time. She bought a house. Well more like killed the previous owners while spreding the news they moved to Avstralia.

And if she was right the Winchesters should come knocking on her door any day now. A house next to hers was hounted. Some ghost from the past was killing people, she didn't really know the details. But what she did know was that the Winchester were crashing in the motel a few towns back and will certainly hear about this.

Although this tied to a chair thing was somehing completly unexpected.

You are reckless!

She could almost hear her fathers voice in her head once again. She went to sleep the past night and it looks like she didn't wake up when somebody hit her in the head.

Reckless!

She looked around the room to see who captured her. But there was no one around. She heard doors open and saw a familiar face.

It was a demon.

She had a gift, thanks to her father, she could see demons through their meatsuit.

"Well well well" the demon said "look who woke up"

"What exactly are you doing?" She said in a calm voice. This situation was worse for the demon then for her, even if he didn't realise that yet.

"I want to know where the Winchesters are" he said. Clea looked at him with one eyebrow raised.

"And why would you want to know that?"

Demon laughed

"I will kill you then I will kill Sam Winchester and then Lucifer will raise me into Slayer!" He said proudly

Now Clea was the one to smile

"Killing the Devil's doughter? Did you really think this through?" She said

"I mean I can't imagine how pleased he would be to hear I'm dead"

Demon laughed again. He really must be enjoying this Clea thought.

"If I tell him you died while fighting Sam Winchester he will reward me for getting a justice for your death"

Clea rolled her eyes. Like that's ever gonna happen. She was a bit tired of his shit so she decided to take the situation in her hands.

A few slices of the rope with knife from her sleeve and she'll... Wait. Where was the knife!

"Looking for this" demon was playing with her knife.

"You son of a bitch!" She spat at him. He laughed.

"You have quite a collection of sharp objects on you" he said

What did that mean? That's when she realised the knife behind her belt and the one in the boot were missing too. He took the Soul blade!

Now that changed the situation. On worse.

"So you realised you have no escape" he laughed.

"Don't be so sure about that" she threw angrily at him even though he was right. Her arms and legs were tied and so was her body and she was knife-less. That was bad. Very bad.

The demon leaned on the chair so their faces came very close.

"So, will you talk princess" he said smiling.

She spat in his face.

"Bitch!" He shouted when he moved away whiping his face with his hand.

She made him mad. That meant pain will come sooner or later. She took a few deep breaths before the demonsliced across her forearm with her knife. She stayed silent. No screams, no sight of pain.

She focused on the pain in her mind and then imagined how she was throwing it off. She got into a zen mode which she oftenly did during fights.

Pain ment nothing to her, if she only prepared for it.

Her lack of screams suprised the demon. He sliced again now her other forearm.

Nothing. She stayed silent.

Pain ment nothing to her.

His fist collided with her face.

There was no response for her, she only stared at his eyes.

Then she lowered her head and closed her eyes. He stabbed one knife in her thigh and left it there. Another cut across her stomach. Blood was all over her but she didn't move. She won't die today, she was waiting for the right moment. And then it came. A sound of a car engine. It was an old car, probably from 67. She smiled and looked up at the demon. Smile on her face confused him. She threw her head back and screamed.

The Winchesters parked their car infront of the hounted house.

"So thats it?" Dean asked when he came out of the car. "It doesn't look hounted"

Sam slammed the cars doors.

"The wife said she saw her grandfather killing her husband"

Dean shrugged his shoulders.

"Lets check..."

He was inturupted by a loud scream coming from the next door. Brothers looked at eachoter then they both ran towards the house.

They came into a small living room. There was a girl on the chair badly bleeding and a man standing beside her.

"He's a demon!" She screamed. Dean threw himself on the guy and stabbed him. There was a bit of orange light and then he died.

Sam was already at the girl's chair untying her. Although Clea didn't care much about the pain the blood loss was still big. She started to feel dizzy and it was harder and harder to keep her eyes open. She fought it but the loss of blood made her weak. When Sam untied her, her body fell down. Before she hit the ground she felt Sam catch her and press his hand over her stomach to reduce the bloodloss. Her vision was blurry but she saw how Sam took off his flannel and wrapped it around the wound. "You're gonna be alright" he said, his voice being far away. She felt how he picked her up and her head fell on his chest. Then everything went black.


	5. Chapter 5

Waking up in unknown bed in unknown room was not her thing. She didn't like not knowing where she was or where was the quickest way to escape. She liked to have things under control. She liked being in charge of herself and others.

She looked down on herself. Her wounds were patched up and bandaged. So one of the Winchesters had to take off her shirt to do that, she figured. But at least she was still in her clothes though they were soaked in blood.

The room she found herself in was quite big. There was only bed and a wardrobe in the corner. It didn't look like a motel or hospital room. They apperantly brought her to the bunker. She did her resarch on the Winchesters so she knew about the men of letters and their bunker. She was just never inside, until now.

A sound came from the door. Clea avtomaticly reached for her knife.

Damn it! It was not there!

The door opened.

"Hey, you're awake"

Sam walked in "I just wanted to check on you and maybe change your bandages"

Clea looked down and realised bandages were all red.

"What happened?" She asked making sure her voice sounded scared.

"You had a few nasty scars but I patched you up. You still bleed from the wounds a bit, but you'll be fine"

She nodded "And the demon?" She asked

"Dead" he said.

Awkward silence fell on the room.

"So.." She said "Sam yes? Where exactly am I?"

"We brought you to he bunker?" He said

"The what?" Clea played dumb.

"The bunker"'he repeated "I'll exlpain later, first we need to take care of you, okay?" he waved with the first aid he had in his hand Clea didn't notice before.

She didn't know what to do. Someone else taking care of her wounds was completly under her pride. She fought alone and after the fight she managed to heal herself on her own. This saved by others was not somethig she would enjoy. It was bad enough he stiched and bandaged her once, although it was true she would die if he didn't.

But now it was different. She was Clea the best of Slayers, she took care of herself, she didn't need help.

But she was not Clea anymore, was she. Here she was Lily, ordinary hunter, who took help if she needed it, who felt pain and who would let Sam bandaged her wounds.

"Okay" Clea said. With permission he sat on the bed beside Clea and took her arm.

Slowly he unwrapped the bandage. They were both quiet, watching her hand. He unwrapped the whole bandage but the end of it was sticked to the wound by dried blood.

"This will hurt" he said and without further warning he pulled of the bandage.

That took all of air out of Clea's lungs.

Unprepaird for the pain.

 _Reckless!_

She exailed the air and Sam was already putting up a new bandage.

She noticed how he wasn't all sweet and apologetic if he was a bit rough with the bandage. He ripped the sticked part off, instead of pulling it off nicley and slowly as they would probably done in the hospital.

She liked that. It seemed that he didn't underastemate her, as he shouldn't because he'll soon be dead.

After managing the other arm too she took off her shirt so Sam could replace the bandage on the stomach. She didn't care if somebody saw her shirtless at all, what she did care was if somebody saw her vulnerable as she was now.

As he changed the bandage his hands brushed her stomach. The skin on his hands was rough. But she realised that she welcomed the touch. It was tender and somehow caring. For a dead man, she was back to reality.

After he managed the last wound he said "Okay, so you're all cleand up. I imagine you would want some clean clothes?"

Clea looked down and saw she was covered in blood and that new clothes would be acceptable.

"Unfortunatley we don't have much girls around here but I can lend you one of my shirts"

Just like in some romantic comedy when she goes around in only his shirt and panties, yeah right. She thought but kept her comment for herself.

She nodded "That be great, thanks"

When she got his shirt she went to the bathroom and changed. She kept on her pants. They were only ripped a little bit on her thigh and there was not a lot of blood around because the demon left knife in.

Shirt was real big, but it smelled nice, at least for a dead man. She grinned.

She has to stay here for a few more days and wait for a good moment to kill Sam. But first she has to find her Soul blade again.

She walked out and trough a lot of hallways came to the big hall.

She must say she was impressed. There was a whole bunch of books everywhere. She liked books when she was a normal girl.

 _Focus!_

She mentally slapped herslef. She haven't though about her past in a long time. As she shouldn't!

"Welcome back to the living" she heard from behind. She turned and smiled at the person

"Dean" she said "Nice to see you again"

"You too kid" he grinned "I only wish we would meet under a better circumstances" he said"You were pretty fucked up when we brought you in"

She shrugged her shoulders "Just a normal day then" they laughed.

"So how you doin'?" She asked. Sam came in at that time.

"Still working on whole Lucifer-king thing" Sam said. Clea chuckled.

"I needed some time too. Tell me, did you by any chance took that knifes of off the demon? They were mine and very dear to me"

Sam nodded and handed her the two knifes, which previously layed on the table. When she took the knifes from him their hands touched. She shivered.

 _Focus!_ Said the voice in her head. But she couldn't help not to look at his eyes. They were this incredibly greenish-brown colour. They were compassionate and reminded her of the time when she... _Focus!_ She looked away. "Am, thanks"

The Soul knife was back in her hands. All was well now.


	6. Chapter 6

She spent the day with the Winchesters in the bunker. She made up a story how she was in that house because she was watering the plants for her aunt. They talked a lot. With Dean she could talk about movies and cars, while with Sam it was all just books.

All the knowledge she had of those things she gained when she was still a normal human. Before Lucifer came along and made her extraordinary. For the first time it felt like remembering the past was not so bad. Not that she remebered much anyway.

In the night however she dreamt.

She was back in Hell in her chambers. Her father entered.

"How is your mission going?" he aksed. He did that a lot. Talked to her through her dreams.

"I believe I gained their trust completly. It is only a matter of time until I get a good chance and move in"

Lucifer nodded approvingly and kissed her forehead "You are doing well, daughter"

When she woke up it was still night. The Winchesters were kind enough to give her one of the bedrooms. Now after seeing her father she was again fully aware of the mission. Yesterday's light talk with the brothers was a foolsih mistake. She cannot allow herself to stray from the mission again!

She sat up in her bed and took the Soul blade in her hand. It looked quite ordinary, no larger than a normal hunting knife. The blade was completly white, while the hilt was wrapped with a black bandage. It looked blunt, but she knew it was sharper than anything. She didn't know the origin of the knife, but the fact that you cannot be resurrected after dying of this knife, made her feel powerful. It gave her joy.

She smiled.

Yesterday's nostalgia and emotions were forgotten, right now she wanted to kill.

She took the knife and head out to find the room of Sam Winchester. What she wasn't prepared for was that the hallways all looked the same. And the bunker was one hell of a big place. She had no idea where Sam's room was.

She tried the first door and they made a very loud squilling noise. This is not gonna work she thought. They'll be awake long before I find the right door.

She sighed.

There was no more sleeping for her tonight so she headed for the kitchen. With a few wrong turns she found it.

She opened the fridge and looked inside.

Where was the freaking milk?

Her head was in the fridge but she sensed a presence behind her.

A hand touched her shoulder, without thinking she grabbed it, turned it over and threw the owner of the hand on the ground. Not a moment later she was on top of the person, pinchig them on the ground.

"It's me, It's me!" Sam said. Clea looked at the person beneath her. She was sitting on his stomach, he was breathing heavily, taken by suprise. His chest covered with a tight shirt, was going up and down. She was staring at him. His sharp cheekbones, deep eyes, messy hear... She could almost say the man was beauti...

She climbed of off him "I'm so sorry" she said "It was a reflex"

"Don't worry about it" he said smiling, while they both got up.

Suddenly she reaised, she had no desire to kill him anymore. And that scared her, more than she would admit.


	7. Chapter 7

When Sam sat behind his book, doing research, he couldn't stop thinking about last night.

They sat on the couch the whole night, talking. Her laugh was a song. Her eyes a poem. He was falling for this girl and he didn't know why.

"Got us a new case?" Dean interrupted his daydreaming.

"Am, yea... There is some strage stuff happening in a town, a few hours from here. I'm thinking witches" Sam said

"Sounds like fun" a voice said from behind Sam. He turned. There she was, a beauty.

"Well, you're not going anywhere" Dean said "Not with those wounds"

"I'll be fine! I had worse"

"I stitched you up myslef" Sam said "and you are no fit to fight"

Clea rolled her eyes "Come on guys" she actually wanted to go. She needed the hunt. The thrill of chasing your prey. But of course she couldn't tell them that.

"I'll stay in the car. Promise. I just want to get out a bit"

Brothers looked at eachother "Okay" Dean said "But no funny business"

When they were driving in the car Dean couldn't hold his curiosity

"I have to ask" he said "How did you get that black eye? Is it like a from birth sort of thing?"

"No, actually" it was a result of her transformation from human to something not as humane. "You know David Bowie?" she asked

"Please" Dean said "Even Sam knows David Bowie"

Sam rolled his eyes.

"Well" Clea continued "I have a similar thing as he does. Only that he got his changing eye from a hit of his friend and I got my black eye from fighting a werewolf"

"I think it looks pretty great" Sam said a bit shyly and Clea couldn't help but smile.

They came to the town and checked in a motel. "So the report says there were three killings. No obvious connection exept the abnormality of deaths" Sam said "there is also a woman who said her husband was killed by flying scissors. I think we should start there"

As they walked through the town Clea had a strange feeling "Is something wrong?" Sam said, noticing her confusion. "No" she said "It's just... I had this strange feeling of dejavu. I'm sure its nothing though"

When the chevy stopped in front of the house Dean frowned "There is a big german shepherd staring directly at us"

"You're not gonna be scared away by a puppy, are you Dean?"

She got out of the car, Sam right behind her "You sit this one out remember?" he said "I'm not gonna fight a griefing widow Sammy" she said smiling. Why on earth would you used that name! She cursed herself. You don't call your killing target Sammy!

But she did see how his lips curled up and though she denied it, she liked it.

Sam got close to the door and the dog started barking.

"So, you any good with dogs?"

Clea shrugged "A barking dog doesn't bite, right?" she slowly opened the door and suprisingly the dog stopped barking. He wiggled his tail and started happily sniffing around Clea. They exchanged suprised glances.

"He seems nice" Sam said trying to pet him, but as he got close the dog growled.

"Okay, not my fan I guess"

Dean and Sam knocked on the front door while Clea stayed with the dog for a bit. There was again that feeling of dejavu.

She followed the brothers into the house. It was a cosy one. The hallway stretched into a big living room, on the left there was a kitchen. Clea didn't know how, but she knew there are stairs leading upstairs behind the door on the right. She opened them a little and then closed them right away. There were the stairs. She gulped and then head into the living room. Sam and Dean sat on the couch talking to a crying widow.

"This is our rookie agent" Sam said when she came into view. The crying lady looked up, hand streched out to greet her. But in the middle of the gesture she stopped. "Lilly?" she asked. Clea panicked. Who was this lady? Why did she know her?

"Oh, you came back!" said the lady and hugged Clea tightly. She didn't know what to do. The Winchesters were observing them with a puzzled look.

Lady cupped Clea's face in her hands "We thought something happened to you! Mark even went to the police and everything, oh but no matter now, you're back!"

Who is Mark?

"How I wish Charles could see you back" she said and started crying again.

For Clea this was a bit too much "Excuse me..." she said turning to leave, but knocking something off the decorative table beside her. She looked down. It was a pack of cards, now scattered around. Instead of the usual white color they were grey.

She knew this deck.

It was her brothers.

"Mark" she said.


	8. Chapter 8

She ran out of the house and on the street, breathing heavily. Not because of the running, but because of the growing panic inside her.

Her eyes stoppend on the swing in the garden over the street. A memory flashed before her eyes.

 _A young girl swinging. A dog ran towards her. It was a young shepherd._

The house next to it was lightly green and she knew that the third step of the porch was broken. The house with a big three had an orange cat, who would eat at every other house too.

She knew this neighborhood! She was here before!

But the memories came back in flashes. The pictures were unconnected, she didn't know what she was seeing.

 _Mark_. Her brother. She had a brother. Somehow she was sure.

"Lilly" a hand touched her shoulder. She jumped. It was Sam. "Are you okay? What is happening?"

She just shook her head. How could she explain? These streets, these people, this was her life. Until Lucifer came and she forgot all about it. She knew her past is here, she just couldn't find it.

 _You shouldn't be looking for it!_

Lucifer said her past was horrible. And she believed him. Why would she want to find it again? He was the one who saved her, who gave her purpose. He was her father. And she loved him, as he loved her.

But why was this so painful then?

"Lilly you are shivering, tell me what's s wrong"

She turned to him and didn't know what to say. "I grew up here" she said "But I... I don't remeber it"

A memory flashed through her head again.

 _The girl was playing on the street. There was a car. It was going fast. She didn't see it._

"No, no, no"

 _The car wasn't stopping. It didn't see the girl. It was closing in so fast. Then a man jumped in front of the car and pushed the girl aside. He died in an instant_.

"No!"

"Lilly, come down! " Sam's voice seemed far away. She didn't realise it, but she was grabing her head, she was trying to scratch the memory out.

"Stop that!" Sam grabbed her hands, she was resisting, but he was stronger.

"No!" she was scraming. She didn't see the world around her, she saw a dead man on the street. And for the reason unknown to her it filled her with great sadness. She wanted to get rid of this memory, this foreign emotions, this incredible pain.

Sam managed to restrain her and she gave in. She collapsed into his arms.

He hugged her tight. His big arms closed around her and she felt her mind coming together again. Feeling of safety washed over her. Slowly the vivid images faded away. She closed her eyes and pressed her head deep into his chest. He didn't mind. She could hear his heart beating and the rhythm calmed her down.

What is she gonna tell him now? What kind of lie will she come up with?

Right now she didn't want to lie. She hugged him around his torso and didn't want to let go. She didn't want to lie!

She wanted to tell the truth! How Lucifer took her, how she killed, how she was deceiving them from the start.

 _Focus!_

She broke the hug "Sorry for that" she said

"It's okay. Will you tell me what happened?"

"I..." she sighed "I was found in the hospital a few years back. With no memory of my previous life. But somehow I knew all about monsters and how to fight them. I took on a life of a hunter and never looked back"

 _You lie and you lie good! Emotions are weakness! Mission comes first!_

"But this here" she looked around "this is my previous life, and that house over there" she pointed at the house with the swing "It's... It's my house"

"Do you want to take look?" Sam asked her and took her hand. She squeezed it back. She did want to take a look. She wanted to find out who she was. Maybe her mother and father still lived here.

 _Your father is Lucifer!_ He is a king of hell, not some pathetic man who... _a man ran infront of the car and saved the girl._

There was the flashback again and she groaned when her chest filled with pain.

She let go of Sam's hand "I need to get out of here"

Dean just came back and they all sat down in the car and drove back to the motel. She shut herself into her room and tried to sort out what just happened.


	9. Chapter 9

That neighbour called her Lilly. Clea realised that she used her real name as a fake one. Irony.

But what now? Does she go looking for her past? Does she really want to know more than she already does?

If father could see her now he would be furious. The mission always comes first.

"Right" she said out loud "The mission"

The mission was to kill a man, who made her feel emotions she didn't know she had. A man who made her feel safe and happy. She couldn't deny it anymore. She did have feelings for him.

Slowly with her head full of confusion she fell asleep.

She didn't go back to that street, while they were working on a case. But she helped anyway. In the end they figured it was a witch after all and they found her on the other side of the town. A middle aged woman with a lot of unfinished business.

Clea stayed in the car as she promised but after 10 minutes when the brothers were not out yet, she followed them. As she expected: one was choking on the ground and the other looked like his internal organs were being crushed. The woman didn't see her, so Clea sneaked up behind her and hit her in the head. The woman fell down and the Winchesters were released. But the witch didn't die. Clea jumped on top of her and started hitting her. She put all of her frustrations in that beating. All the confused feelings she was unaccustomed to feel.

She hit her until her face was swollen then she took out a knife and stabbed her. The witch died.

"That was brutal" Dean said after she finished. Sam didn't say anything.

At that moment she didn't care what they thought of her. She needed that. She needed to release her anger and that is how she did it. Now she was once again ready to deal with the world.

As the days past by her wounds were healing nicely. She didn't spoke about the past anymore, she tried to forget it for good.

But what she couldn't forget about was Sam.

She woke up in the middle of the night.

She dreamt of one particular german shepherd. She couldn't let that happen again, so she got up.

With groan she shifted out of bed and onto the cold floor. Slowly she made her way trough the door into the hallway.

She was walking down the hall when she heard a scream from one of the doors. It wasn't loud, just enough for her to hear it trough the open door.

It was Sam's room. With percussion she made her way trough the door. Sam was sitting in his bed, breathing heavily. His eyes were fillied with fear.

"Sam?" She said in a whisper "Are you okay?"

Sam turned his head and looked confused for a moment "Am..Yes" he said then "It's just...I had this..."

"Nightmare?" She finished his sentence. He nodded.

"Come on" she said and gestured to the door. Sam looked at her confused.

"You won't get any sleep after this" she said and walked out. Sam shifted out of bed and followed her, she was right after all, he wouldn't sleep.

They were in the kitchen. She sat on the table and gave him a mug.

"What is it?" He asked

"Milk and honey" she answered "The best thing you can do when you can't sleep"

She took a sip out of her own mug.This is what Lucifer did for her when she had nightmares. Of course the milk didn't contain honey, but demon blood and with that she slowly learned how not to scream when she woke up from a horrible dream. But thanks to that blood, she could see faces of demons, so she figured it wasn't all bad.

"Try it. Its good"

Sam took a sip and was pleasantly suprised.

"It is good" he said and smiled.

They drank milk in silence for a while.

"So are you gonna spit it out?" she asked.

"What?" Sam asked

"Your dreams" she said "What got you so off track?"She really did wonder what could trouble him now. It's not like Dean was in any danger lately.

He sighed and looked down.

"I saw someone get killed" he said after a while.She nodded, she knew those kind of dreams.

"They didn't deserve it" he added.

Does anyone really?

He does. Said the voice in her head, but she ignored it.

"Don't worry" she said "It's just a dream"

Sam looked into her eyes and smiled

"You're probably right" he said not breaking eye contact. They stayed like that for a while. Just observing each other. It seemed like neither of them wanted to go back just yet.

Then she broke the eye contact and finished her milk. She put the mug down and so did Sam. As he put the mug on the table he got so close she could hear his breathing. Her heart quickened the pace. Her mind went back to that comforting hug and she realised she wanted to get lost in his arms again. Slowly he put a beam of her hair behind her ear. His thumb brushed over her cheek.

She couldn't speak, she couldn't move. She got lost in his eyes, in his touch.

The world around her vanished. She wanted nothing but to stay in this moment forever. He was lighty smiling, and Clea could swear he was the most handsome man alive.

"You're beautiful" he said "You truly are"

She smiled but she couldn't speak. Her heart was pounding. For the first time in so much time she felt...happy. She believed that was the word. Her heart felt two sizes bigger. Her mind couldn't focus on anything else but him.

He gently cupped her face with both hands and finally kissed her. She kissed him back. And at that moment, the moment of pure joy, she knew that no matter what happenes next, she will never be able to kill Sam Winchester.


End file.
